


Just Kendall

by helloshitwriting



Category: Keeping Up with the Kardashians RPF, Kendall Jenner - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Family, Gen, Reflection, khloe kardashion, kim kardashion, kylie jenner - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:43:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3464765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloshitwriting/pseuds/helloshitwriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Kendall Jenner doesn't want to be Kendall Jenner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Kendall

Sometimes Kendall Jenner doesn’t want to be Kendall Jenner.

Sometimes she wants to sit in her room and cry, overwhelmed by emotions she doesn’t want to be feeling. Feeling childish and stupid because she can’t be the way everyone else was and feeling even more horrible because that actually bothers her.

Sometimes she’s disgusted with herself when she watches herself mope and bawl in the mirror. Her visage, streaked and splotched, staring at her with taunting red eyes as she mops up the fallen tears. She isn’t appealing, she isn’t perfect; how could people even think that the masked being mimicking her on the other side of the mirror could be? How did she even delude herself enough to momentarily believe she could be?

Sometimes the cameras make her feel pressured, like she had to be exuberant and bubbly like the ones that were related to her, the sisters that shared the same mother. They were all so strong and poised, happy and outgoing, she didn’t find it surprising when they rarely included her in plans. But it still left a dull aching in her heart.

And when they didn’t invite her to par take in family activities she still had the audacity to get upset; cry and throw a temper tantrum because how dare they ditch her. How dare they leave her alone with the horrible beast in the mirror. How dare they not notice that something wasn’t right with her, that maybe her silence was her way of screaming out for help.

But sometimes she did scream. Scream and cry and bang her tiny palms into doors to slam them shut behind her, yelling at her sisters to “go away” and claiming they “don’t understand” in the middle of the whole ordeal. But maybe that was all just a ploy for attention so she could get what she desperately needed without sounding desperate. Because if she couldn’t be strong and poised she could at least be strong and loud, and that was almost the same thing, right?

Sometimes Kendall Jenner doesn’t want to be Kendall Jenner.

Sometimes she wants to read and listen to music and fall in love like others her age without the harsh lens of Hollywood. Sometimes she wants to control her own life, but sometimes she wants someone else to control it for her. Sometimes she wants to put her life on autopilot so she doesn’t have to feel what she was feeling.

Sometimes Kendall Jenner just wants to be plain old Kendall.


End file.
